I don’t know about you but I listen in on other people’s conversations. Not overtly, but cautiously and respectfully. I can because I’m a writer on the lookout for material.
You would think I’d be in luck what with all the constant cell phone use these days – but no. Interesting details are not the same thing as boring inanities. As far as eavesdropping for material goes, the age of information has turned out to mostly be the age of too much information.
“I’m five blocks away, four and half now.” Big deal, who needs or wants to hear that? Leaves me empty. Though if I had a nickel for every time I overheard that particular cell phone conversation I could, I don’t know – buy some really good material.
Then there’s “I’ll be home in five minutes.” Come on, you can’t wait five minutes to say “Honey, I’m home” in person? I suppose it is possible that having to give the person you live with a warning every time you’re about to arrive home could suggest something interesting. I don’t know what exactly, but something along the lines of a backdoor man, or a sad secret desperate hope for a surprise party – a little character window that could be interesting. But that’s me making up material and the point however is to find material – not have to actually make it up.
Fortunately people aren’t quite as insipidly boring when they’re face to face so if you steer clear of the solo cell phone acts there’s still the chance to hear something good walking down the street.
Walking downtown on lower Broadway I heard “Oh right, I forgot you’ve got that Jolly Roger thing.” Now we’re talking! I kept walking as if I hadn’t heard anything at all, and when I got a ways away I repeated it to myself to see if was a good as I thought; if it hooked me in. It was and it did.
The next thing I know I’m chanting (lowly to myself) “Oh right I forgot you’ve got that Jolly Roger thing. Oh right, that Jolly Roger thing.” What Jolly Roger thing? What in the world could that possibly mean? Who knows, but whatever it is is there any chance it’s not at least a little bit perverse? No, right? It might be the thing that makes you place that advance call to home. “ I’ll be home in five minutes, and there better not be any signs of your Jolly Roger thing when I get there.”
“I told him if you want the Wildcats you’re gonna have to through me first.” Heard that one from a thirty-something fellow on 6th Avenue in midtown. That’s a perfect B movie moment in the middle of Manhattan. Who says something like that except a honor-defender of the hometown cheerleading squad? And who or what else calls themselves The Wildcats besides cheerleaders and bikers. A hipster dodge ball team maybe? Okay, so it’s not great, but see how it works to get the imagination going a little?
“Their perfect bodies were shaped like pens.” I heard that while riding the LIRR. The reason it caught my ear was that it came from a ten year old explaining something or other to a seven year old. I couldn’t’ for the life of me hear what he was talking about but he said it using his ‘I’m the older brother I know things you don’t know kid’ voice. The unfortunate bad luck of being shaped like a pen (I’m picturing something like a Mont Blanc knock-off) coupled with that protective tone nearly broke my heart. I could only hope they wer headed toward redemption.
“I have nothing to do but await Perez’s call.” Heard that in a painting gallery at MoMA. My very first thought was “Yeah, and let me tell you when Perez is calling you better be answering.” Buster. Or else. Perez? Trust me if you chant “Perez is calling” in a low voice a half dozen times as your walking past the Rothko’s you’ll hear the intrigue. It’s one part romance one part danger. Perez, no doubt is one smart and cunning dude. Or maybe not. Maybe he’s like that man with one black shoe, or….maybe… Perez is the man the other black shoe.
To me, that’s material. Like St. Elmo’s fire in the way it sparks the imagination. My only problem is that I get so attached to all the implied possibilities that I can’t bring myself to actually use any of them. They’re like those gifts I bought for someone else and then decide to keep for myself.
So I’m keeping my ears peeled, but not pinning my hopes on the cellular moment. Though… I’m working on a new play and wondering if one of the characters doesn’t have a Jolly Roger thing. He easily might. And it is possible one character could be five blocks away, then four, then three, but only if at two blocks she meets that damned mysterious Perez.
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly on art and other stuff 